i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
