i jhust puked up my retainher.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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