So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
