Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
