david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
