i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
