tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the liver wants what the liver wants
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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