Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
