Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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