i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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