I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
