So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
