"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
