they need to just BURY HIM!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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