are you so shy because you have an std?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
