hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My life is pants optional.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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