I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
