she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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