Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
