I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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