Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
