Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
