How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
