he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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