sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
