I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
