I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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