do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
