That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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