so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
