He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
