I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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