He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
