I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
