I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
