rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
