i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
