i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
