is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is wine microwaveable?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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