I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
