I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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