Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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