Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
