It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
