If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
