We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
only if we run a train.
done.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
