So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
