I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
