It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
