There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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