I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
