I think I died a long time ago.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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