So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize