So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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