Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize