I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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