I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
