I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
