Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
