And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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