Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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