i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think my moral compass just broke
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
