Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she peed on how many people?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
