the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
