Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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